Possible Instagram Followers
I ask myself to sigh as I remark / on your classic acrylic / Renaissance portrait / posts / with your fifteen thousand friends / or ghosts / cruising through Hawaii / Argentina / Laos / every horizon / every jungle / White girls are taught to find power / scribbled on the ticket home / I’ve never seen you faint / or beg / or even think for too long / Silence passes between us as old and gargantuan / as the Alps / No one can find meaning in my yearnings when they’re joyful / Is this why / I hate you? / Is this how / you did it? / Washed out Polaroids / party hats / in the trash / in the morning / Learn to leave the past alone / like the rest / of us / Please squeeze the napkin in your hands during family dinners / or excuse yourself to the bathroom / where you become a phantom / in the mirror / Please sing badly / or let your skirt fly up in public / or be cruel to me / just once / so I can mean it / Is it because you don’t like me / or like me / in an unspecial way / In the way I like your photos? / Blistered thumbs / Pink Emoji / Red Emoji / Smile With / The Eyes Emoji / Is it happiness? / In the why / rather than how? / Is it cisness / paleness / prettiness / the silken ivory / dress / that drapes / over you / Little house beside / the prairies / Little home inside / your heart / Boyfriended / Bewitched / Tongue / twisted / Is it because people / are dying / Cities are burning / Because I was late / for the bus? / I know / I’m not mentally ill enough / for my friends / not wounded enough / for my art / Not interesting enough / to make it past / my skin / chipped nails / and pile of laundry / But this is not about me / This is about you / And how I can’t stand you / and crave you / and think about you all night long / Curse you / to live a life / like the rest of us / Please / Drop your phone / in the ocean / Lose / your house / in a flood / Find another planet / Make it a better place.
Sebastian Nguyet Snow is a sophomore creative writing major. They were born and raised in Berkeley, California until they woke up at SUNY Purchase. When they’re not writing, they’re reading the same page of a book three times and drinking chai lattes.